With many Americans living under self-quarantine, the future of housing and office space will experience radical change. Here are some random thoughts about life after coronavirusappoccalypse:
The Man-Bun will make a big comeback due to the inability to get a haircut
There will be so much toilet paper to appear on store shelves that it will take years to use it up and toilet paper production-related employment will be bleak
Consumers will not regret hoarding toilet paper but will refuse to admit it in public
With everyone frustrated about being housebound, they will plot and plan to buy or rent a larger home as soon as this crisis is over
Buy a new refrigerator after burning out the refrigeration unit with thousands of sustained door-opens
A surge in the stock prices of Jenny Craig and WW
Gyms will see a new revival (see ‘Jenny Craig’)
People will discover they actually like to walk every day to clear their mind
Many people will begin to use Zoom.us every day and discover they like to see their friends and relatives faces when chatting – even in HD
Universities will incorrectly believe that students will want to learn remotely when really all they want to do it party in the dorms
Employees will decide they hate the time wasted on the commute even more because it is not completely necessary
Americans will love sleeping in until 8:30 am permanently changing the 9-5 standard to 10-6
Podcast usage will become a bigger thing than it ever was (see ‘walk every day’)
People will rush to cut their cable service after enduring endless hours, watching mindless cable shows, for reasons they can’t explain, but did realize being permanently pissed off was exhausting and unnecessary
The difference between weekends and weekdays will suddenly be thrust back into our daily lives and we’ll hate it despite the dated conventional wisdom that we should keep our personal and business lives separate (see ‘walk every day’)
The divorce rate will skyrocket as couples actually discover their real partner in close quarters
Parents will completely shed their ‘put their kids on the couch to watch tv’ shame as they consider how many episodes of Gilligan’s Island they have watched
Commercial real estate will never be the same again as millions of employees worked remotely and companies realized it wasn’t that big a deal
UPDATES
There will be a new generation classification known as Baby Boom II beginning nine months from now – ok, boomer? (see ‘divorce’)
Uncomfortable chairs will no longer be tolerated as Herman Miller Aeron Chairs will be the only office chairs made worldwide
I’ve seen the future, and it is good. -Beavis & Butthead
Other insights welcomed.
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