Matrix Blog

Humor or Whimsy

Zillow Gets Pillowed

February 9, 2021 | 11:07 am | TV, Videos |

I met Rich Barton, Zillow CEO, at an Inman/Curbed party held during an Inman conference in Manhattan a long time ago, the evening before Zillow’s launch. I asked Rich, a very nice and fascinating person, what he did for a living, not realizing he was the co-founder of Expedia. Ugh. He also said they were launching their latest effort the following morning – a web site called “Zillow,” and he added “as in rhymes with pillow” to the description. Little did I know real estate would never be the same after that.

So this weekend’s SNL skit on Zillow was particularly delicious with all the “pillow talk.” Even Rich got a kick out of it.


Your LOL UPDATE for February 10, 2021

Ted Alexandro Said SNL Stole His Joke, So He Asked for a Million Dollars [VICE]

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The Future of Real Estate (And Life) Is Happily Looking Remote

March 26, 2020 | 10:37 am | Favorites |

With many Americans living under self-quarantine, the future of housing and office space will experience radical change. Here are some random thoughts about life after coronavirusappoccalypse:


The Man-Bun will make a big comeback due to the inability to get a haircut

There will be so much toilet paper to appear on store shelves that it will take years to use it up and toilet paper production-related employment will be bleak

Consumers will not regret hoarding toilet paper but will refuse to admit it in public

With everyone frustrated about being housebound, they will plot and plan to buy or rent a larger home as soon as this crisis is over

Buy a new refrigerator after burning out the refrigeration unit with thousands of sustained door-opens

A surge in the stock prices of Jenny Craig and WW

Gyms will see a new revival (see ‘Jenny Craig’)

People will discover they actually like to walk every day to clear their mind

Many people will begin to use Zoom.us every day and discover they like to see their friends and relatives faces when chatting – even in HD

Universities will incorrectly believe that students will want to learn remotely when really all they want to do it party in the dorms

Employees will decide they hate the time wasted on the commute even more because it is not completely necessary

Americans will love sleeping in until 8:30 am permanently changing the 9-5 standard to 10-6

Podcast usage will become a bigger thing than it ever was (see ‘walk every day’)

People will rush to cut their cable service after enduring endless hours, watching mindless cable shows, for reasons they can’t explain, but did realize being permanently pissed off was exhausting and unnecessary

The difference between weekends and weekdays will suddenly be thrust back into our daily lives and we’ll hate it despite the dated conventional wisdom that we should keep our personal and business lives separate (see ‘walk every day’)

The divorce rate will skyrocket as couples actually discover their real partner in close quarters

Parents will completely shed their ‘put their kids on the couch to watch tv’ shame as they consider how many episodes of Gilligan’s Island they have watched

Commercial real estate will never be the same again as millions of employees worked remotely and companies realized it wasn’t that big a deal


UPDATES

There will be a new generation classification known as Baby Boom II beginning nine months from now – ok, boomer? (see ‘divorce’)

Uncomfortable chairs will no longer be tolerated as Herman Miller Aeron Chairs will be the only office chairs made worldwide


I’ve seen the future, and it is good. -Beavis & Butthead

Other insights welcomed.


‘My First Apartment” Podcast by Localize.city: Jonathan Miller, CEO at Miller Samuel

October 25, 2019 | 10:25 am | Podcasts |

I had a fun discussion about something I hadn’t given much thought to in a long time with Aaron Ghitelman of Localize: my first apartment.

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Here’s What A Manhattan Commute With “Vertical Travel” Looks Like For Ken Griffin

January 26, 2019 | 9:48 am |

As coined in a Bloomberg article about hedge funder Ken Griffin’s $238 million condo purchase in Manhattan, a “vertical travel” is something many New Yorkers do every day – I’ve just never heard it described that way (following bold is my emphasis).

Citadel has signed a lease to anchor a skyscraper at 425 Park Avenue, eight-tenths of a mile from Griffin’s new apartment, not including vertical travel.

When Ken Griffin travels from his new penthouse to his office, I imagine his commute, that includes “vertical travel,” looks like this (bold is my emphasis):


Aspirational Marketing: Best Hamptons Magazine Cover Ever

July 8, 2015 | 10:49 am | Favorites |

As I was exiting Grand Central Terminal on my way to work, and Timeout New York was being passed out to commuters. Their now-free magazine cover caught my eye:

In this week’s issue of Time Out New York, we prove the Hamptons don’t have to be douchey.

hamptonstimeoutnycover7-2015
[click to expand]

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“Save the Moguls” Attack Ad Goes After @Airbnb

July 7, 2015 | 2:51 pm |

Cracks in the “sharing economy” are forming.

As reported on Airbnb — and real estate big shots — where it hurts” Inman News…

The ad says that nearly half of the revenue from the site goes to “real estate moguls,” a figure taken from the New York State Office of the Attorney General’s “Airbnb in the City” report from October 2014.

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Adventures in Branding: NY Yankees Style

April 28, 2015 | 2:16 pm | Favorites |

Love this email our company just received to our general mailbox…no, we’re not going to take advantage of this opportunity – as much as I love the Yanks.

 

nyyankeesmillerad

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Wired’s Phallic Take on the High-Rise Boom

March 2, 2015 | 9:27 am |

When first moving to New York City in the mid-1980s I remember seeing this epic quote in New York Magazine:

“You know what this business is all about? Weenie-waving. Everyone does it. I do too.” -real estate developer Bruce Eichner

Fast forward to the latest copy of Wired Magazine with the theme “Sex in the Digital Age.” The real estate angle includes a mandatory SuperTall building graphic with the theme embedded subtitle.

wired3-15

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Nathan Pyle’s NYC Basic Tips & Etiquette Book Is Like A Diagonally Cut Sandwich

May 4, 2014 | 6:04 pm | Books |

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[Source: Buzzfeed]

My friend Nathan Pyle, author of the best selling NYC Basic Tips & Etiquette Book is now embarked on a new journey as the graphics guy at Buzzfeed.

Don’t forget to buy his book so he can continue to be inspired to give us these types of insights.

My personal favorite:
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But there are so many more to learn from…

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Nathan Pyle’s NYC Basic Tips & Etiquette Book Tour Captures Hearts & Minds

April 25, 2014 | 10:23 am | Books |

nathanpyleNYCbook

My friend Nathan Pyle‘s book NYC Basic Tips & Etiquette is selling out at The Strand and is hovering at around #100± on Amazon overall, #1 in travel and #1 in comics. He’s so modest that he doesn’t realize how amazing it is to have Harper Collins/William Morrow behind the marketing – and they approached him! Even cooler that he gave my wife and I a shoutout in the book!

Here’s the book saga timeline (ie Facebook page).

Here’s a fun interview on CBS 2 New York TV:

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Nathan Pyle’s NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette Book Now Available!

April 16, 2014 | 11:13 pm | Books |

SMALL_COVER_d My friend Nathan Pyle has penned a book: NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette that should be required reading, well at least required viewing for:

  • anyone living in NYC, or
  • anyone planning to visit NYC, or
  • anyone who’s ever read anything about NYC, or
  • anyone who hasn’t thought about going to NYC someday, or
  • anyone not planning to visit NYC, or
  • anyone who’s never read anything about NYC, or
  • well, anyone.

You get what I mean. This book is clearly for everyone.

THREE_OPTIONS

You can check it on on his Facebook page or actually buy it on Amazon.

He’s come a long way from making selfie-videos of his basketball dunking prowess. I’ve long been a fan of his art. Nathan combines nice Midwestern sensibilities (he’s from Ohio) with street smarts, artistic talent and a dab of humor.

In fact Nathan’s only shortcoming is his siding with the “GIF” (Graphics Interchange Format) pronunciation camp while I am squarely in the “Sounds like “Jif” as in the peanut butter AND confirmed by the inventor of the “GIF” camp who said, and I quote:

“It’s pronounced JIF, not GIF.”

And the word is getting out, in newspapers, an AMA on Reddit on radio/podcast, etc.

Here are a few samples, I plan to revisit his artwork over the next few weeks. The book even provides instructions on where to eat pizza on a busy sidewalk!!! C’mon people, the value add for that alone is worth well above the very modest price! Here are a few samples…

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Weekend Reset: How To Be Creative

March 23, 2014 | 3:48 pm |

John Cleese, Monty Python Icon, on How to Be Creative

While this 1991 video doesn’t really fit into the general theme of Matrix, it simply isn’t what you think it is – and you don’t need to be a Monty Python Fan.

Get into “open mode” from “closed mode” by getting some quiet time and watching this clip when you get a chance.

UPDATE

Barry Ritholtz over at The Big Picture shared a more recent and shorter version of the speech.

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